Lucky You
by Hermione Fae
Summary: One really hot evening Harley and the Joker have some bedroom fun. One-shot, based on Suicide Harley Quinn and the Joker. Rated M


Harley tossed and turned in bed, restless. The Gotham summer heat was horrible during the day but at night it was even more unbearable, it was sticky and humid but if you wanted to open a window you couldn't, not at this side of town because of the fumes. Harley had abandoned all idea of nightwear, throwing her pyjama top and pants across her bedroom and tried to sleep naked underneath the purple silk duvet.

Lying on her back, arms above her head, Harley stirred as a finger stroked her cheek, she smiled her eyes still closed because she believed the finger belonged to The Joker who had finally abandoned his hot office to come to bed. She opened her eyes to great him and startled as she saw not him but Allan, one of the Joker's higher ranking henchmen. Harley was decidedly pissed off that he was A). Waking him up and B). In her bedroom in the first place.

"What do you want Allan? Where's the boss?"

"The Joker sent me in to make sure you're OK, he's still working"

"Well I'm fine"

"You're so hot" he blurted out suddenly.

Harley knitted her eyebrows together and tightened the covers around her suspiciously. "Err thanks"

"No honestly, you are. I don't know why you waste time with the boss. I could treat you so much better"

Without warning Allan bent down and crushed his lips against hers in a forceful kiss. Harley wasn't having any of that, as his tongue pushed its way into her mouth she bit, hard, his blood filled her mouth along with part of the offending slippery organ. Allan yelled in pain as Harley laughed at him which attracted the attention of The Joker who had sauntered into the bedroom to investigate.

"What's going on?" he asked, dangerously quiet.

Harley was confident that the anger she was feeling radiating off the Joker was not directed at her so she explained "he was coming on to me Mista J"

"I just came to check on her and she jumped me boss" spluttered Allan

Harley glared at him and climbed out of the bed, completely forgetting that she was naked. She punched Allan square in the jaw, knocking him to the floor. When he fell to the floor she kicked him in the stomach repeatedly with her foot whist shouting "you dirty lying bastard, how dare you!" She stopped when she felt cold hands grasp her upper arms and pull her back.

"I believe you Harls" said the Joker in a low voice

"You do?" she asked happily

"Yes, and now we need to think of a suitable punishment for little Allan here"

Harley whispered something into the Joker's ear, he grinned in agreement. "Ha! Great idea Harley go and get it then"

Harley hurried out of the room wearing one of the Joker's shirts that she found on the floor. He in the meanwhile dragged Allan by the collar to the wardrobe that faced their bed. He crouched in front of his employee and patted his cheek roughly. "Sorry about Harley, she's just a little bit crazy you know. Gotta keep her sweet an' all"

By this point Harley had returned with a evil smile plastered to her face, a battery pack and wires hanging out of it. She fastened on of the collars that were attached to the wires around Allan's neck, then she ripped off Alan's jeans and pants and fastened the other collar around his half erect penis.

"You see this device Allan? This is Harley's pride and joy. You see we've programmed it to give out electric shocks every time it hears a cry of enjoyment." Explained the Joker from the bed

"We don't have it on that high but that changes today!" cried Harley, jumping up and down with excitement. She twisted the dial from six all the way up to ten and then stepped over to the Joker who stood up and unbuttoned her shirt, she removed his at the same time and pushed him down on the bed. Harley looked into his metallic blue eyes before they kissed passionately, the iron taste of Allan's blood swirled around their mouths as the rest of the Joker's clothes were taken off and thrown in Allan's general direction.

Harley shivered in delight as the Joker danced his fingers all over her body and let out a small moan as they stroked her increasingly wet folds. This in turn activated the electric shocks to Allan who replied in a scream. The sadistic clown couple grinned at each other at his yells and set to work pleasuring each other.

Harley had already come once when the Joker flipped her over so she was now facing Allan, pulled her hair back and entered her, she gasped as she heard him say "watch as I fuck her Allan, is this what you wanted to do? Hmmm? How much are you regretting it now?"

He thrust inside her, gathering in pace, sweat was shining on both their foreheads until the heat they both felt the heat build up inside them. Harley came first. "Oh Mista J!" she panted

"Ugh, yes come for me Harley" yelled the Joker as he slapped her bare buttocks and came himself.

"AHHHHHHHHH" screamed Allan as the electric current flowed through his body causing him to pass out.

The Joker and Harley laughed as they noticed Allan slump in the corner. Utterly exhausted by their fucking and by the heat, they collapsed themselves with Harley draping herself over his torso. The couple lay there for a moment, breathing together until Harley propped her chin up on his chest. "We should probably untie Allan"

"Yeah go on then" said the Joker, pretending to be asleep. She shook he head and got out of bed. Throwing a shirt on her she then untied the henchman who had begun to stir. "Touch me again and I'll kill you" she whispered. Allan crawled out of the open door and out into the hallway where he was found the next morning asleep by one of the other men.

In the meantime Harley returned to the Joker who had been watching her with a proud smile on his face. She resumed her original position on his chest and then said " I want to kiss every tattoo you have"

The Joker chuckled "well that is going to take you a long time"

"I want another one"

"If you manage to get everyone of my tattoos I'll personally give you one myself"

"Only If I can choose what it says"

And that is how Harley Quinn got her 'Lucky You' tattoo on her stomach.


End file.
